


Echoes of the Force

by Judgey_Fish_Caretaker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Leia - Freeform, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Planet Naboo (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylofest, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-01 13:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judgey_Fish_Caretaker/pseuds/Judgey_Fish_Caretaker
Summary: "I don't benefit in destroying you. I want to understand. You're possibly the only one who understands."After the Battle of Crait, the remaining Resistance seek refuge at the Naberrie's historic lake home. There, Rey is visited by phantoms of the past and present. [post TLJ]





	1. Refuge

**Author's Note:**

> After a ten year hiatus from any sort of fandom or fan fiction, I blame The Last Jedi's angsty goodness for dragging me back in. Have a few fics up my sleeve that I'm excited about sharing here! Let me know what you think!

Counterpoise: [noun] : any equal and opposing power or force;

Balance.

\---

"We have everything we need."

Despite the general's sincere words, Rey's heart ached. Her eyes scanned the remaining members of the Resistance that currently occupied the Falcon's main hold, recognizing a number of the faces from her short time spent on D'Qar. Murmurs of conversation. A hollow chuckle here and there. Smiles that did not quite meet their eyes. For those fighters she remembered but did not see, she assumed the worst. Rey's stomach churned.

There was at one time an entire fleet of them. Before today, they would not have all been able to stand in this room. Rey winced at the memory of transports being plucked from the sky, one by one, as she helplessly watched from Snoke's throne room. She should have done more. Her jaw locked at the memory but she refused to let the tears fall. Not this time. He was right: she was nothing. How foolish she was to think that she, a simple scavenger, could save the Resistance? Her regret and frustration surged through her body, pulsing through her muscles as sweet, intoxicating adrenaline.

Rey unconsciously tightened her grip on the two broken halves of her lightsaber in each of her hands. She could not even keep her saber intact. What good was she to the cause now?

"My friends." A commanding voice cut through Rey's disparaging internal dialogue. Side conversations halted as the remaining Resistance fighters turned towards the source. There was no mistaking their reverence as the group brought their full attention to General Leia Organa while she took her place at the center of the main hold, steadying herself on the Dejarik chess table. She took a moment to glance around the room to offer a comforting smile to those brave souls who stood before her.

The remaining.

"Words cannot even begin to commend the bravery you have all shown in these past days. And although all hope may seem lost, we must not lose sight. Our friends that have died today –" A sniffle escaped from the back of the room. "-they will not die in vain."

"Do not underestimate the power of hope and the speed of which it travels - faster than any hyperspeed imaginable. I can guarantee that in due time, the galaxy will know of our efforts and the brave we have lost." Leia paused, resting her eyes on Rey. "They will learn that Luke Skywalker, legendary Jedi Knight, thought to be lost forever in legends and myths, appeared at our darkest hour." Rey could feel those standing in the room studying her now but her eyes never broke Leia's gaze. Their expectations, reliance, and hope weighed heavily on her narrow shoulders. "They will know that the Jedi live."

Leia raised her chin, returning her attention to the entire room. "This is the spark we need to continue fighting. The First Order may have won the battle today, but they will not win the war." Leia closed her hands in front of her, her Alderaanian ring of blue stones and gold catching the Falcon's overheard light. Rey found herself imagining a young princess, thrust into the war efforts of the Rebellion, losing her home but never losing her resolve and strength. Many of her adventures took place on this very ship, if the stories were all true.

"Our next steps will be carefully calculated as they have always been. We will come back stronger then ever." Leia gestured for Commander D'Acy to join her at the center of the room. "After some discussion, D'Acy and I have decided it's best that we set our coordinates to Naboo in order for us to refuel and regroup. It will be a short trip, but necessary if we want to push on."

Before the General could complete her sentence, the room buzzed with anxious, quiet whispers. Naboo? Is that what she said? Couldn't be. Rey was confused by the sudden shift from an almost reverent silence to panic that had swept through. What was the significance of this planet?

"With all due respect, General Organa" A booming voice hushed the panicked murmuring. Rey saw that the Resistance fighter she just had the pleasure of becoming acquainted with, Poe Dameron, had joined these two women on the floor. Although she herself was unfamiliar with this dashing pilot, it did not take much for her to read the room that no one was surprised by his interruption. Whether or not his input was welcomed was a bit harder to decipher when comparing Leia's amused smile to Commander D'Acy's tight lipped one.

"Naboo, though near the Outer Rim Territories, is within the Mid-Rim." Poe continued with authority. "We know that the First Order has grown in presence among these planets, especially those with beneficial resources. It would seem unwise, almost dangerous, for us to visit one of these planets – especially one that has been known to be a rallying place for Republic traitors and Imperial sympathizers. With our current lack of soldiers and supplies, we cannot afford to go into the belly of the beast."

The room's dissent grew louder in agreement of Poe's concerns. Commander D'Acy opened her mouth to argue but was stopped by the raise of Leia's hand. "Commander Dameron, although I appreciate and welcome your input, I will ask that you trust me on this one." She tilted her head towards him, her eyes challenging but not unkind. "Our cause will not gain support if we hide in the shadows. Are you hoping to recruit hoards of scoundrels and smugglers in the Outer Rim that are sympathetic to our cause? Those who have garnered power and influence in the wake of the First Order?"

Poe was silent. "Naboo, yes, home of the old Emperor has been known for it's troubling identity at times, but it is also home to a resilient people. A strong people. People have not forgotten what it is like to be suffocated by a corrupt power. A people who have lost one of their own recently." Leia paused, her expression fading into one of mourning. "Their great senator, Thadle Berenko was lost in the destruction of the Galactic Senate. I have a feeling we will soon find more friends than foes on Naboo in the wake of her senseless death."

There were no more whispers now. Poe Dameron provided sheepish nod and responded quietly, "Understood, General" before sitting back down.

General Organa clasped her hands together, her head turned downwards. The decision was final. Commander D'Acy cleared her throat.

"Prepare for hyperspeed."

\---

In the short period time since she had left Jakku, Rey had encountered planets she would have never been able to conceive in her wildest imaginations. It all still felt like a dream. Now, she found herself pressing her face up to the glass window of Falcon, her eyes hungry for the rolling, rich green plains and swampy lakes that covered the quickly approaching planet. Rey swore she was witnessing colors that she never even knew existed. She had heard stories from proud pilots who hung around Niima Outpost, stinking of cheap liquors and who loved to overcompensate, bragging of their ventures to planets such as these but Rey had paid them no mind. In fact, she hardly believed them. Nothing this beautiful could exist – not when your only reality for years was an endless, barren wasteland of Jakku.

Rey abruptly became self-aware of her ogling and shifted her attention to her peers beside her. To her relief, they were equally in awe of the landscapes passing below them and took no notice of her gaping mouth. Leia, who stood behind them, smiled.

The Millennium Falcon swooped across a crystal clear lake that reflected the blue sky above. As the dusk mist cleared, Rey and the fellow Resistance watched as green cliffs came into view, revealing a large home of rose marble and vine covered stucco between the mountain's base and lake's edge.

Rey sucked in her breath.

They had arrived.

\---

In little time, Rey had packed her things into her tattered duffel and shuffled off the Falcon along with the remaining Resistance. The mood amongst them had altered significantly as she listened to the chatter surrounding her. The sun and fine weather had already raised their spirits, or, at least let them forget if not for an afternoon. Though she wanted to join in light conversation and visit a brief moment of blissful ignorance, Rey could not relax her thoughts. Too much was weighing heavily on her mind.

Where was he now? This was their next move, but what would be his?

"Let me know if she needs anything!" Rey called out overhead at Chewie as she walked from underneath the Falcon and down the loading ramp. He growled in acknowledgement and, in his own way, insisted for her not to worry. After flying them safely to Naboo he was already on top of the ship making necessary repairs to the top hull from their most recent run in with the First Order. One of their new passengers from Ach-To curiously nibbled on a wire Chewie had exposed before giving a surprised screech.

Before she could become all too concerned by the seemingly dense creature's well being, Rey's attention was shifted to the pair of Resistance medical personnel who rushed past her. One was pushing the Falcon's creaky reserve gurney while the other held an IV bag of fluid overhead. From where she stood, Rey could see the sleeping patient's two unmistakable tufts of black hair sticking out on either side of the gurney

"She'll be okay." Finn has appeared at Rey's side, joining her in watching Rose being transported to the entrance of the lakeside home. "She may not seem like it at first, but she's a tough one."

Without saying anything Rey pulled him into a tight hug. It caught Finn off guard but only took him a moment to return it. "Finn" Rey said, without letting go of her dear friend. "I'm so glad you're still here. With the Resistance." Rey thought back to his doubts he shared with her on Takodana in Maz Kanata's castle. "After everything that has happened."

"Yeah, well" Finn began, pulling away with a cheeky smile. "Maybe I suddenly just became enlightened. The Force must have just, you know, come over me."

Rey returned his teasing with a grin. She could not recall the last time she had given one that was as genuine. Her muscles found the expression unfamiliar.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Finn responded, sincerely. "I don't know…" His voice became distant. "Maybe you all were onto something. I'm sorry it took me longer to realize."

As his thoughts drifted into silence, Finn's eyes moved towards the path Rose's gurney took. Rey patted him gently on the back as if to grant permission. "Go check on her." Finn nodded and hastily made his way to the entrance of the home.

Rey softly smiled at his retreating back that still donned a worn leather Rebel jacket, which she was convinced had obtained a few more scratches and singe marks since they had last met. She was sure she would hear the entire story, in full painstaking detail. Not a moment of the adventure would be omitted—Finn would make sure of that. Her smile faded as her eyebrows drew together into a thoughtful look. Finn was probably one of the few who could empathize with how much, and how rapidly, everything had changed since their fateful meeting. They had lived years in separate realities that didn't call for any consideration of the future. For Finn, his future was all mapped out along with thousands who were also considered dispensable. He would live and die for the sake of the treacherous First Order's bidding. For Rey, it was a series of days of just waiting and going to bed hopefully less hungry than the night before. For both her and Finn, life was just about surviving.

The Niima Outpost on Jakku hardly seemed like a platform for such a significant intertwining of fates that Rey often wondered how close she had been to missing it. She reflected back to the elderly human ladies who once sat alongside her as the hot sun would set each day, buffing their scavenged parts with their leathered, wrinkled hands. She had never looked at them for too long, in fear that it would cement her own fate.

It was all too easy to imagine what would have happened if she had not heard BB-8's urgent pleas for help and the droid had ultimately fallen into the hands of the First Order. She felt selfish to find the thought of BB-8 being successfully reunited with the Resistance without her or Finn's help just as unsettling. However, Rey did not dwell on this speculation for too long. If anything, the unfolding of events over the past few days had proved to her that nothing was being relied on by coincidence or chance. The Force had too much of a hand in all of this, long before she had untangled BB-8 from the net of the greedy Teedo.

All in all, it had been quite the week.

"Rey" Rey turned to see the Leia Organa disembarking the Falcon. Her elegant earth brown garb made her appear to float down the ramp. The only detail that broke this illusion, Rey noticed, was the general's tight grip on the walking stick at her side. "If you wouldn't mind helping an old woman out. It's been a long day."

In a moment Rey was by the Leia's side, her arm lightly wrapped around her back. She guided the general down the ramp and across the intricate brickwork that was laid out between where they had landed and the entrance to the lakeside home. With the exception of Chewie working on top of the Falcon, everyone was already inside. All that was left to hear was the soft breeze through the trees and the occasional muttered cuss-growl carried over from the Falcon that would make a Kashyyyk mother blush.

From this close proximity, Rey could see the hard creases that accented Leia's eyes and the wispy silver hair that had escaped her Alderaanian mourning braid, a detail a fellow Resistance fighter had brought Rey's attention to earlier in the day. This woman was legendary. Her entire life has been dedicated to shielding the galaxy from the persistent darkness without falling into darkness herself. Within a week she had lost her husband, her brother for the second time, and now, seemingly forever, her only son. All of this while the fate of democracy weighed heavily on her shoulders. Rey felt a lump form in the back of her throat. This was her first time alone with the general and they had so much to talk about: Luke's lessons, Snoke's demise by her son's hand, and her growing, complicated bond with him. However, Rey remained silent. She wasn't sure how much more this woman could take in one day. All of a sudden, warmth spread over her body, enveloping her and soothed her anxiety. There will be another time.

They continued to walk quietly together. Rey soaked in the welcomed sunshine of the golden hour as she gazed up to get a closer view of their arrangement this evening. The home was large and impossible to examine entirely from the angle in which they were standing. Rey had a hard time discerning how many floors the residency contained as it seemed to have been built along the surface of the cliff side, gradually getting lower to meet the lake's surface. The central core had two rotundas of rose marble towering overhead serving as the highest points of the home, each topped with a copper roof that had aged favorably into a soft green over time. If that were not grandeur enough, the rotundas were surrounded by additional stucco sections of the house painted a brilliant yellow with sun kissed red tiled roofs and quaint black shutters. Green vines snaked themselves around the outside walls as if to claim the home as part of their nature.

"This place is beautiful." It was all that Rey could say.

"It is." They stopped walking and Leia joined Rey in looking upwards at the lofty architecture above them "It served as a meeting place of many prominent members of the early Rebellion when it was owned by the state. It once belonged to my grandparents. Been in the family for years, long before the rise of the Empire. Seeing as my brother and I had a-" Leia paused, as if to find the right word. "- unique situation, it was not passed down to us as in previous generations."

Rey uneasily glanced at Leia, unsure how to respond. Sensing Rey's quiet, Leia broke her gaze from the house and boldly held Rey's eyes. "Oh. You're a smart girl. By now you know who my father was." Leia brought her attention forward and they continued to make their way towards the magnificent door formed of wood, intricate iron handiwork, and glass. Rey pushed the front door and was surprised by how easily it swayed open and beckoned them inside. From the rich wood and ivory hued foyer, she could hear the distant laughter and chatter of the rest of their party from other parts of the house, their sounds bouncing against what Rey could only assume to be additional carved marble hallways more intricate than the next.

The hallway they had entered from the foyer seemed endless. To their side were wide-open windows overlooking the exact lake the Millennium Falcon swooped above before landing. Leia and Rey took a moment to admire the setting Naboo sun as the blue sky began its transformation to tinges of orange and pink, the water below reflecting the light in its soft waves. Rey was in awe. Sunsets never looked like quite like this on Jakku.

Leia was the first to break the silence. "For all intents and purposes, Bail Organa was my father. He raised me, instilled in me my values and shared with me his passion for serving people." Her voice grew soft, barely audible over the breeze that brushed across the water outside. "I miss him so."

"And your mother?" Rey heard herself ask abruptly. She felt her face go deep red, embarrassed by her sudden impulsiveness. Clearly she was projecting her own longing into the conversation now.

If Leia was put off by the question, she made no show of it. "Shortly after my father's identity was revealed to me, I was curious about my biological mother. Who was she and what was her story?" As if sensing Rey's insecurities she assured "It's only natural to be curious."

Leia gestured to Rey to follow and she obliged, her curiosity peaking as they continued on. The warm beams from the sunset outside streaked against the ivory walls, filling the space with a warm glow. They stopped in front of a portrait of a young woman, not much older than Rey. The painting was magnificent. She stood tall, shoulders rolled back and confident. Her gold dress had a high collar of deep purple and beading that came up to underneath her petite chin. Over the dress she wore a grandiose velvet shroud of the same purple. Her glossy brown hair was fashioned into an elaborate headdress that circled the back of her head as if meant to form a halo. The presentation was completed with a delicate gold and jeweled headpiece that rested across her forehead. Despite her glittering appearance meant to convey her power and influence, Rey's own eyes were instantaneously drawn to that of the young woman's. They were warm and familiar.

"Padme Amidala Naberrie. Elected Queen of Naboo at the mere age of fourteen and then lived a life of continued public service as a prominent voice for peace during the Clone Wars while a member of the Galactic Senate. " Leia recited. "By the end of the war, she witnessed the slow collapse of the Republic she had dedicated her very life to. The void left by the war had allowed fear and chaos to reside where there was once diplomacy. However, despite her and other remarkable senators' valiant efforts, the Republic decayed into what we know now remember to be the Galactic Empire. "

"But," Rey shook her head. "How would the Senate allow that to happen?" She meant not to question experienced politicians senses. Force knows her grasp on politics began and ended with Unkar Plutt's shady dealings at the outpost. She only wished to understand how such a blatant dark power could rise under the galaxy's nose.

"I've seen a number of conflicts in my time, but this truth has remained constant." Leia held a single finger up from her walking stick. "To the frightened, freedom seems to be a small price to pay for protection and order."

Leia sighed and turned her face away from the painting as though it had suddenly given her great pain. "Despite my mother's service to the people of this galaxy until her dying breath, the discovery of my father's identity has haunted me. At times even, made me doubt my own worth. When the Republic found out during my time as a senator well after the fall of the Empire, let's just say my intentions were challenged as well."

Rey was astounded. She could never fathom being in a room of people who lacked trust and respect for the woman who stood before her, who had given everything for this.

"My father, a powerful Sith lord who arguably caused the galaxy the most pain and destruction in our recorded history may cause some to question whether or not I would be prone to fall to darkness. As a woman approaching my middle ages, I came to an important realization about myself. We are not defined by our lineage and our paths are not set by those who come before us." This was all beginning to cut a little close to Rey. She tugged at the hem of her waist band uncomfortably, the empty space where her saber should be. "Our circumstances are not what shape us, but the decisions that we make each day in response determine our outcome."

The weary general allowed herself to glance up one more time at the portrait of her mother. "Luke promised me that he turned to the Light at very end of his life, moments before he perished." At Master Skywalker's name, Rey snapped her attention to Leia's face. Tears were beginning to brim at the corners of her eyes. Rey had never seen her so raw. "He was so insistent: 'Leia' he would say. 'There was still good in him, I promise.'" Her voice shook. "I would not accept it. Not after all that had happened. Not when his legacy still casts a shadow. He took so much away from me, and even in death, he takes too much…"

Unsure of how to proceed, Rey gently offered her hand to comfort Leia Organa. The general grasped it and chuckled in spite of herself. "Poor girl, having to listen to this old woman prattle on. This home is just so full of memories that it all just comes flooding back, I guess. You must be exhausted, when was the last time you slept? There are a number of guest rooms you could use before supper tonight-"

"Oh, please don't!" Rey interrupted hurriedly. "I'll be fine on the Falcon-"

"Nonsense!" Leia waved the suggestion away with her hand. "This home has gone too long without hosting anyone! There's plenty of room for all of us, no reason for you to subject yourself to that creaky excuse for a bed on the Falcon – I would know. Please, follow me this way."

Rey found little point in objecting the General any further and followed. It was as though Leia had gained renewed sense of energy at the prospect of sharing this home with others.

They walked until they stood in front of what appeared to be a rather simple wooden door that sported a delicate gold handle. As Leia pushed the door open to reveal the inside, Rey involuntarily gasped.

The wide open spaced formed of ivory hued marble spread out before them. The tiled room was warmed by the presence of soft teal curtains with gold detailing that hung in front of the windows, standing nearly as tall as the ceilings. The bed, with its headboard pushed up against the wall to their left, was about as big as Rey's living space back home on Jakku. She had never seen such an assortment of rich fabrics and textures as she found from the decorative pillows that were placed on top of lavish quilt spread across the immense mattress.

It was gorgeous, truly, but it's extravagance caused Rey to feel slight unease. This was not at all what she was used to.

"I hope you don't mind the windows being open." Leia interrupted Rey's gawking. She shook her head, unable to formulate words at the moment. Leia dug through a large leather bound chest sitting at the foot of the bed with purpose. "One of my favorite parts of staying in the country side. So isolated, no cities, and it was always my favorite to hear the waves before I fell asleep."

"No, no, it's perfect" Rey discovered her voice. "In fact, it's all too much."

Leia found what she was looking for. She pulled out a long white night gown that looked, Rey observed, soft as a cloud. She watched as Leia gingerly placed it on the bed, smoothing the fabric out with her fingers. In that moment, Leia Organa was not only a past Senator defending the rights of individual systems or a mighty general who was responsible for historical blows against the First Order. In that moment, she was a mother. Attentive, gentle, and caring of detail while readying someone for bed. Before she could stop herself, Rey briefly wondered if something similar was ever a part of her and her son's routine when he was a young child.

Ben. Could he even go by that name anymore?

"There." Leia stood back and placed her hands on her hips, proud of her work. "Now, I expect you to rest some before you join us for dinner. I'm very familiar with the food we have preserved downstairs." Her eyes twinkled mischievously, so much so that Rey in that moment could have sworn she had briefly seen a young princess. "And wine."

"Thank you, General Or-" Leia shot a disapproving look. Rey swiftly corrected herself. "Leia. You've been too kind, really."

"Now, get some rest. We all deserve that this evening, at least." Rey watched Leia's retreating figure. She bit her lip. She knew she should get some sleep, but this question would gnaw at her mind and there would be no rest until she asked.

"Leia!" She stopped with her hand on the doorframe. Rey swallowed. It was now or never. "What you said about Dar-uh, your father…" Leia turned gracefully on her walking stick to face a stammering Rey. "Do you think it's possible? For someone that far gone to come back to the light?"

Leia gave a sad smile and Rey felt her face flush with shame. Of course she would have made the connection, why else would Rey be asking. Rey wondered if Leia could hear the desperation in her voice, the hope that dangled on each word. Against her better judgment, Rey was not ready to give up. Not yet.

"One of the last things my brother said to me," Leia gripped her walking stick unconsciously with both hands. "-is that no one is truly gone. But I believe candles can't light the darkness in someone if they're suffocated themselves." She held Rey's eyes intently. "I can't lose anyone else."

Rey idled at the foot of the bed, the words and their potential of their meaning hanging heavily around the pair. "Goodnight, Rey". The door closed.

Rey was in and out of the connecting private fresher, and within minutes, was pulling the soft white nightgown over her head. It left her arms bare but almost touched her ankles in length. The soft fabric felt strange against her skin.

She slipped into the bed and although the sheets were soft and inviting, a part of her preferred to be on board the Falcon, amongst the smells of grease and the comforting sounds of a snoring Wookie nearby. She did not cling to that thought for long because in moments, despite initial protest, sleep took over. The waves lightly rolled onto the shore outside her window, echoing dreams and nightmares that had caused Rey restlessness for so many years.

But, for first time in some time, she slept soundly. There were no dreams.


	2. The Spark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you live long enough, you'll see the same eyes in different people."

_"Errrmph"_

An indiscernible groan escaped Rey as she shifted onto her side, slowly rousing from her deep sleep. Her eyes remained shut – she only wanted a few more minutes. It had been such a good rest. Anticipating the cool surface of the Falcon's metal interior, she repositioned her elbows cautiously on the small cot.

Except, the wall never came.

Disoriented, Rey's eyes fluttered open and were met with a sight that for a moment briefly took her off guard. There was no metal wall with rusty edges or exposed wires, instead, a tall window with its thin drapes blowing across the marble floor from the breeze outside. She was also most certainly not on a cot and still had plenty of room before she would have been in any danger of slipping off.

Naboo. _Right._

It was still dark outside. Rey reached for her comlink sitting on the end table to confirm the hour: it was still some time before dawn. As she set it back down she noticed a small tray of fruit and cheese set beside a glass of juice.

Leia.

She must have slept straight through the festivities last night. No bother. Rey was certain she would have been a bit of a killjoy anyway.

Since there was no going back to sleep at this point, she decided to explore. Rey threw the blankets back and was instantly chilled by the dewy air. A product of a dry climate, Rey was not accustomed to the excess moisture that formed a thin film on her skin, catching every breeze passing through the open window.

Rey wrapped her hands over her arms, rubbing warmth into them while she took a glance around the moonlit room. Her traveling clothes and cowl were nowhere to be seen, leaving Rey to assume that Leia was continuing her already too kind extension of hospitality by having them laundered. She investigated the leather trunk at the foot of the bed where Leia had pulled the nightdress from hours before and uncovered an even more lavish sleep robe. It was a deep maroon silk with soft velvet lining on the inside, its smooth texture entirely foreign between Rey's calloused fingers.

Her mind abruptly flashed back to those hot afternoons on Jakku. A growling stomach and an aching arm as she tirelessly attempted to give her newest find an enticing shine. Some days, a shine could make the difference between a quarter and a half-portion. In the distance, wealthy men and women in their silks and high fashion walking across the outpost, their expressions aghast and offended by the conditions they were witnessing. The humanitarian efforts and donations that followed would have all the best intentions, but no one other than Unkar Plutt would ever see those Republic credits. If there was a crack in the galaxy large enough for a planet, Jakku had already fallen through it.

Rey hastily slipped the robe over her nightdress and retrieved her fabric boots from where she had kicked them off underneath the bed. She silently hoped to herself that no one would be awake to witness such an odd ensemble.

Despite the dim lighting, she found it rather easy to retrace her steps to the foyer that she and Leia initially entered. This brought her to the main living space where Rey, half surprisingly, did not run into anyone. The rest of the Resistance was undoubtedly enjoying their comfortable arrangements for the evening. It would be back to bunks and rations soon enough, Rey mused.

The next room was a circle shaped entertaining area, lit dully by candles from the festivities earlier in the evening. At its center, abandoned glasses and bottles were scattered on top of a formal dining table. They did have some fun, didn't they?

Warm light flickering from the adjoining room drew Rey away from the remnants of last night's merrymaking and into an intimate common space. A fireplace at the end of the room was warm and inviting, its crackling and snapping of wood providing a rather comfortable ambience. Burning wood for pleasure was initially a bit of a foreign concept to Rey, but she was beginning to see the appeal.

_"I can't, we can't."_

Rey whirled around.

"Hello?" No one answered.

Her eyes rapidly searched for the source of the hushed whisper. Two couches, plush and deep red, remained unoccupied. The flames smoldered behind her as shadows danced ominously against the walls.

Her blood ran cold.

There was no one but her in this room. Her fingers searched for her saber at her waist although she was well aware she would not find anything- a phantom limb, of sorts.

_"It's just not possible."_ There it was again. Rey's ears perked up. It was a woman's voice, but she sounded far from threatening. Just pained. Rey steadied her heart rate with a few deep breaths before drawing an unusual conclusion. What if this woman wasn't here? At least, not presently.

Rey felt foolish but slowly raised her hand out in front of her. "What are you trying to show me this time?" She whispered to no one in particular. In their brief time together, Luke never covered if the Force ever answered back. Her eyes closed, she exhaled, and reached out.

Echoes of the past swirled around Rey all at once. She was unable to discern the time or place but grasped onto fragments as they rushed by.

_"Not a moment has gone by that I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you, I can't breathe."_ It was a voice of a young man that Rey did not know.

_"You are in my very soul. Tormenting me."_ Anguish.

_"What can I do? I will do anything that you ask."_ Though Rey could not distinguish who this young man was, his longing and agony was all too familiar.

_"If you're suffering as much as I am, please, tell me."_

Rey desperately listened for the young woman's answer. Her fingers twitched as she reached out towards the phantoms of the past. She needed to know. What became of them?

Just as swiftly as they appeared, the echoes halted and Rey was left in silence.

However, this silence was different. The quiet of the midnight hour had been replaced with a low vibration that caused Rey's ears to ring. The fireplace's soothing crackling behind her seemed distant now.

Her breath hitched in her chest. The skin on her arms prickled in anticipation. She did not need to hear the faint beeping noises of cold machinery to know who stood behind her.

The silence hung. Without turning around, Rey opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"I thought we were done with this." His tone was dismissive as if he was being inconvenienced.

With this? His indifference enraged her and the floodgates opened before she could compose herself. Her memories of the bloodshed on Crait, all the destruction, her friends' ships hunted one by one, like animals. Master Luke Skywalker was dead and the Resistance was now but a handful of survivors. She felt as her anger pulsed through her body, tingling at the fingertips. He was lucky he wasn't there, not physically anyway. Gritting her teeth, she spun around to face him but she what she was met with stopped her in her tracks.

The newly crowned Supreme Leader of the First Order stood before her. His tall, broad black silhouette was just as menacing as she had remembered, especially now as it stood against the flames. Except his stance was not proud. Shoulders hunched, head down: it was the build of a broken man.

His gaze broke from what he was previously studying to meet hers. Her breath caught in her throat. His dark eyes were blank, lifeless. If it were at all possible, the purple hue under his eyes that had formed each passing day since their encounter on Starkiller Base had grown even more distinct.

He was in agony.

A wave of emotions washed over Rey, causing her to almost stagger from their weight. Cold. Emptiness. Longing. Somehow these private thoughts were shared with her without a single spoken word, a connection she had not experienced since their intimate exchange on Ahch-To. A perverse idea that if the Resistance successfully fell, she would go to him.

That's not how this works. Rey withheld a response, but she was not sure she needed to.

If he felt her aggression and disproving, he did not let on. His eyes briefly left her face for a quick once over of her apparel, quite the contrast from her usual functional beige and blue. Rey was not sure if it was a trick of the flickering light, but she could have sworn a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "It's a good look."

Heat rose to her face as she uneasily wrapped her arms around her torso, hoping he did not note the fine Naboo material. Despite how covered she was, she felt naked.

She ignored him. "How is this still happening?"

"It appears that Snoke's claim to our connection may have been more or less a fabrication." He response was matter of fact, delivered in an almost lazy drawl. "This does not surprise me. He was always one to take credit of other's strengths."

What was the significance of their bond then? Rey unconsciously rubbed the palm of her hand with her left thumb, recalling back their last intimate meeting by the light of a fire. At her lowest, she reached out to him. In her despair and loneliness, she exposed her soul. He listened attentively, reserved judgment. He of all people knew her heartache. Rey noticed that his hands were covered by his usual black leather gloves. She craved for them to be bare.

She had felt the light in him, she was confident in that. Master Luke had warned her that this was not going to go the way she thought and he was right. Her thoughts traveled to twirling of red and blue, two bodies moving in sync effortlessly as if in a dance, electricity in the air as falling embers rained down, and the charred remains of a dark enemy.

Rey did not think even the great Jedi Master could have predicted what happened in the throne room of the Supremacy.

"Why, Ben?" Rey asked, her voice raw. She wasn't even sure if that was his name anymore. It felt heavy, false on her tongue, but she insisted. "Why did you have to go this way?"

"I thought you understood."

"No." She swallowed, tears threatening to fall. "You keep running to the dark."

"Don't be naïve. The light, the dark. No one owns it. For thousands of years the galaxy's inhabitants have battled, and in their suppression of understanding the opposing side, they fall and the other rises. The Jedi Order, the Rebellion, the Empire, and the Sith. The Force always finds a way to balance the universe." His tone grew more assertive, but remained even. "We have been arrogant to believe we understand its intentions. We were arrogant enough to think we can control it."

Rey reflected back to the First Jedi temple and the ancient mosaic central to its main corridor. The caretakers of the island believed it to be an illustration of the Prime Jedi, the original of the Order, in a state of meditation and balance. She contemplated the memory of its white and black stone pieces, shimmering underneath the shallow pool of water. Master Luke had said the Jedi were responsible for their own downfall. Was it not as simple as she had been led to believe? Have the wars over good and evil been misguided?

"We are beyond this narrative, Rey. You and I. " The use of her name, soft as it rolled naturally off his lips, unnerved her more than she cared to admit. "We are above politics."

"You say that, but it's already too late." She spat. She relished the hint of bewilderment that briefly crossed his features. "You've inserted yourself far too deep for it to not be politics, _Supreme Leader_."

Quick anger flashed in his eyes. That hurt and it pleased her. "I took the throne in defense. It was either conquer or be conquered. For too long I have been used for my power." He hissed, taking a step towards her while his eyes searched her face. Rey held her stance. "Why would I run away with you, into the arms of the Resistance, an institution just as ignorant as its predecessors?" His inflection turned into a confident sneer. "They're just using you too. You're just too foolish to see it."

Now it was her turn to be angry. "They are brave people, brave people who believe in a cause greater than themselves. They will fight alongside each other, even if they won't live to see it – all while you sit alone on a throne."

In her outrage, Rey's guard crumbled and he seized the opportunity to slide in with ease. "Ah, so I see you've met the Resistance pilot." He mocked, silkily. "The best pilot in the entire galaxy. I too have had the pleasure." Despite his best efforts to mask it, Rey sensed the tinge of jealousy that lurked in his voice. They were far too connected to hide anything from the other now.

"He's brave."

The new Supreme Leader leaned back to laugh, a sound from him that was foreign to Rey's ears. It was hollow and lacked sincerity.

"He's reckless. Countless lives have been lost at his hands due to his rash decisions." He taunted. "But I maybe that only matters depending on what side you're on, what flag you fight under."

She didn't have a response for this harsh truth. He continued.

"Let me ask you, Rey, since you are now such a great lover of the Republic." The word fell from his mouth as if it were sour moof milk. "What have they ever done for you? As an abandoned child, living off scraps in the desert wasteland of Jakku…"

"Please, stop..." She pleaded, her eyes focused on her hands that had formed into tight fists.

"Just an Outer Rim planet. To the Republic? A lost cause." He pressed on. "Why, a junk planet doesn't produce any revenue. Where would be the investment? No fleet, no resources. Forgotten, left to fend on its own."

Rey was silent. Sensing her increasing discomfort, he swiftly backed down. The line had been crossed. He had proved his point.

His voice grew soft. "I don't understand why you fail to see what we can bring to the galaxy. We could build a galaxy with no hungry children. Think of what we could do, together."

Of course, Rey mused. Evil men never saw themselves as evil. They always had a reason, always had a justification for their actions.

It made them all the more terrifying.

"This is strange." Rey started, hoping he didn't hear how her voice wavered. "The great Supreme Leader of the First Order, begging for the assistance of a nobody." She raised her eyes to meet his, overlooking the desperation that reflected in the firelight. "How very charitable for you to stoop so low."

"That's not what I had meant-"

"Then what _did_ you mean?" Rey retorted through gritted teeth.

"You have no ties." He replied hastily, shaking his head. "No shoes to fill, no lineage to follow. You are free to live as you wish, with no expectation…"

He paused. Did Rey imagine it, or was now his voice beginning to falter?

"And I've overestimated your abilities if you don't have the slightest idea of my feelings towards you."

Rey's lips parted but no words came out. She was certain that he could hear her heart thundering inside her chest.

"Don't you see, Rey? As darkness rises, light to meet it. The rise and fall of the Sith and Jedi. The Force's way of creating balance, just as it has done since the beginning of time. We exist because of each other. "

Rey was transported to the passages underneath Maz Kanata's castle. Beckoning voices of Jedi before her drawing her to the legendary lightsaber tucked safely inside a vault of past treasures: the same saber that would choose her in the snowy forest in her duel against the Supreme Leader's rising dark apprentice. She remembered Han's eager offer for her to join him, Leia's maternal instinct to embrace her in the aftermath of his senseless murder. Ben Solo had left a void in the wake of his journey to the dark side and Rey seamlessly filled it.

She suddenly began to feel lightheaded. She could feel his eyes scrutinizing her, hungrily waiting for her response.

"We are more alike than we are different. Snoke intended to destroy what he did not understand. He was foolish, stuck in the old ways. I don't benefit in destroying you. I want to understand." He said breathlessly. "You're possibly the only one who understands."

He had witnessed their parallels, deep her in consciousness in his search for the map leading to Luke Skywalker. She was hurt and suffering, much like he was. His expression as the Jedi Master's saber selected her was not one of resentment, but admiration. Their Force bond, despite Rey's initial aggression, was responded with a desire to know more without a trace of malice. They had shared trauma, exposed and bare during midnight whispers over a small fire.

Her acceptance of her parents' identity and the truth of her past caused her crushing heartache. While he was the product of a respected Senator and notorious war hero, abandonment came in many forms. His parents had saved the galaxy, but they were not able to save their only son.

"The old ways were Snoke's downfall, as they have been for Sith, and now, the Jedi. The Force seeks balance. As you feel light in me, I feel darkness in you. Luke Skywalker would have destroyed you too if he had been given the chance, if he had felt what I felt." He continued fervently, his once stoic features now replaced with those of a restless young man who had been freed of a lifelong bondage. "The Jedi are all but gone now. We're all that is left of our kind. Rey…"

Here they were again. A leather gloved hand raised, stretched out towards her.

"We can create something new."

Raining embers and defeated Praetorian Guards were now replaced by a crackling fireplace and empty red couches. His eyes forlorn and tired, but carried a slight glimmer of hope that her answer would not be the same.

"What can I do? I will do anything that you ask. Rey, _please_." If not for her spoken name, Rey would have believed that the tormented whispers of past phantoms had returned. Instead Kylo Ren, Master Luke's fallen apprentice and the menacing Supreme Leader of the First Order, was addressing her.

No, he was begging her.

_I feel your darkness_. Words that would have once distressed her now fell flat. She could not be disarmed by a truth she already knew. Like the light, the darkness inside her had always been there. She had sensed it. It festered through the nights she went to bed with only a quarter portions, cloaking her when she was desperate to sleep. She had felt it while captive in the interrogation chair as she rebuked his advances, deliciously feeding off his fears and doubts. It came to her in the form of bloodlust that night on Starkiller Base, as she paced hungrily over its apprentice, seduced to strike the fatal blow. It made her body hum with unusual strength. It had called out to her on Ahch-To and she had answered with little to no hesitation.

The Dark was sultry, tempting, and desirable. The Dark assured her it had the answers to her inmost questions. The Dark would show Rey her place in all this.

As if provoked, sudden warmth spread through Rey's body. The source not the simmering fireplace from a few feet away, but deep within. Leia's comforting voice reverberated through her. _They will know that the Jedi live._

"You're wrong." With new purpose, Rey held his eyes, the glimmer of hope in them beginning to fade. "The Jedi are not gone. Not while I'm here. The Jedi Order may have been flawed, but they tried to do what was good, what was right." She thought back to Master Luke who had initially scoffed at her naïve optimism, but later had sacrificed himself for these ideals. - the very ideals that shaped the great Jedi Master so long ago.

"Battles of light and dark may come and go under different names, but there will always be what is right and what is wrong." As her voice grew heavy with significance, his hand fell lower to his side. "I cannot join you when you are unable to see the difference. You're on a path I will not follow."

Their connection through the Force had a way of diminishing entire systems between them, blurring the line of what was real and vision. Hushed tones, a brush of a hand, caressing of skin made their reality complete. At Rey's words a new divide flourished, one that was deeper than the chasm broken on Starkiller Base and wider than the Falcon's closed door she had shut on Crait. The small room on Naboo suddenly felt galaxies apart.

He swallowed, reluctantly accepting her answer. "So, this is the path you choose."

"Yes." Her voice was small. She was unable to prevent the tears that had started to brim.

The flames from the fireplace highlighted his burdened stature, shoulders rolled forward, defeated. His hair, dark and tangled, framed his sunken cheeks. Rey could hardly bear to meet his gaze and when she finally did, his eyes were just as she had dreaded - full of longing.

She knew what he yearned for. She had sensed it, tugging at far reaches of his mind.

She felt it as Luke Skywalker's saber first ignited in her hand, his jaw slack in wonder.

She felt it on Ach-To over a fire, a tiny hut shielding their moment from the dreary elements outside.

She felt it while standing in the cold, sleek elevator at the sound of his birth name leaving her lips.

She felt it in his voice, his desperate plea for her to join him in his quest to bring a new order to the galaxy. It was never meant to be a solely platonic alliance.

She felt it when she shut the Falcon's door on their connection, leaving him broken and alone on Crait's outpost floor.

Rey knew what he desired, because the Force had also shown her what might have been.

And she desired it too.

They regarded each other across the room in silence. There was no contempt or anger, just disappointment. The reality materializing before them was suffocating: he could not leave and she could not come to him. They could not be what the other wanted them to be. They could not fulfill the visions they had of each other.

"Ben…" Rey exhaled. She didn't know what she wanted to say, if she had anything to say at all. She longed to tell him how her heart had been breaking from the moment she had stepped off Crait and how her chest felt at any moment it would split wide open from the pain. How much she wished he would return to the light, return to his mother…

Come back to her.

"Goodbye, Rey." His farewell carried little weight. This would not be the last time the Force connected them, their bond had proved that with its persistence. It would continue to haunt them, like an itch that could never be scratched, or a thirst never quite quenched. A game of push-and-pull until someone conceded.

If only he knew what the Force showed her that night on Ach-To, maybe then he would turn. Rey's heart skipped a beat with sudden anticipation. Maybe, just maybe, he would come back to the light if he saw what could be in his future…

Their future.

_A modest home sits along a shoreline, surrounded by lush, tall green grass. As Rey opens the front door, she is greeted by a brilliant sunset reflecting off the surface of calm sea, stretching out as far as the eye could see. A man stands still with his back to her, barefoot and ankle deep in the low waves as his beige tunic catches the breeze coming off the water. At the sound of Rey's approach, he breaks his meditative state to face her and at the sight of her, he grins. His smile is peaceful, fulfilled. Before Rey steps any closer, his attention shifts from her to her side, just below her waist. Puzzled, she also looks down and is met with the wide doe eyes. A child, no older than four with tussled dark hair, reaches up and eagerly pulls on the hem of her tunic. His eyes are warm, brown, and familiar. She knows who he is. For the first time, she has a family._

For the first time, there's _balance_.

Coming back to the surface from her reverie, Rey frantically calls out to him. "Wait, Ben!" If she revealed to him what she had seen, he would have to stay.

Rey quickly took two long strides to where he stood in front of the fireplace, but it was not enough. She had scarcely seen his agonized expression before the connection was severed, leaving her alone with her arms extended out to thin air.

She was too late.

The sun was beginning to rise and the shadows from the fireplace gave into purple and blue hues that filled the room as morning quietly approached. Feeling weak in her knees, Rey gave into their fatigue and sunk onto the plush couch. She reached up to touch her face, only to find it was damp, streaked with tears. She was not aware that she had been openly crying.

A series of beeps broke Rey away from her wistful trance as a small droid revealed itself from behind the couch. BB-8, of course. Though the BB unit lacked the facial features you'd recognize on a humanoid or similarly built species, it effortlessly expressed its concern with a head tilt to the side of its sphere frame. How long had it been here?

"I'm fine, Bee-Bee-Ate." Rey insisted, hastily wiping her face with the sleeve of her sleep robe. The stubborn droid rolled toward her feet, continuing a string of worried chirps. Despite herself, Rey forced a laugh. "Thank you, really. I'm okay. I just-"

"Rey!" A voice hollered from the hallway. Both Rey and BB-8 jerked their attention to the doorframe just in time to see Finn nearly miss it as he scrambled past. After regaining his footing outside, his head poked through into the room excitedly. "This house is huge, I've been looking all over for you!" Rey gave an internal sigh of relief that he didn't notice her blotchy appearance. "We're having breakfast outside on the balcony. Rey, it's gorgeous! You've never seen anything like it!"

"That sounds great, Finn!" Rey mustered enough enthusiasm to produce a half-hearted smile, masking her grief. It must have been convincing to Finn because he left her and the droid with two thumbs up and not another word.

"Go on, then. I'll be right there." Rey nudged BB-8 gently with her palm. It spun to face her, giving a low, skeptical whistle. She returned a small smile. "I will. And, Bee-Bee-Ate?" She felt silly, bargaining with the droid. "Can you promise to keep this between us?" I don't want anyone to worry." BB-8 responded by opening one of its tool-bay disk doors, revealing a tiny welding torch in an upright position. A thumbs up, clever.

Once BB-8 had rolled out of the common space, Rey was left alone once again. But she was not really alone - not truly anyway. She knew in a few minutes she would be greeted with kind words and embraces from friends over an abundant breakfast that only a princess could provide. This same group of devout individuals, Rey was certain, would share the same level of graciousness if there were mere rations on the table in the direst of circumstances.

All while he returned to a cold throne: Empty and devoid of love.

As she stood, Rey's hand absentmindedly grazed the couch's soft red fabric, reflecting back to the phantom voices she heard earlier that morning. She wondered what became of them and if their pain ever subsided. She hoped whatever the outcome, they had found peace in their decision.

The answer was not always clear, Rey learned. As a scavenger in a lawless wasteland on Jakku, she had fostered her integrity by following a simple code of ethics that had stemmed from her instinctive understanding of what was right and what was wrong. In her narrow scope of experiences of scavenging to survive and living amongst crooks, it had served her well. Endless late afternoons spent under the setting sun, scrubbing relics of a distant past, Rey would strain her ears in attempts to eavesdrop on fellow scavengers talks of past wars, myths of the Jedi and the forces that brought the oppressive Empire to its knees. The deteriorating hull, which once struck fear in the hearts of all that crossed its path, now at the mercy of those it oppressed. These legends would fuel Rey's daydreams on evenings that were spent a top her repurposed AT-AT, gazing longingly at the stars above. What would it be like, she had wondered, to be a force of good in a galaxy that was shrouded in corruption and suffering.

Now she was here, part of a narrative she had once believed was myth, and she understood new universal truths. No one in this galaxy was purely evil. Additionally, no one in this galaxy was wholly good. Everyone has a past, their own personal burdens, and their present decisions determine this fine balance in the gray.

Despite these facts, one reality remained constant: There is still what is right and there is still what is wrong. This was the truth the Jedi fought and sacrificed for.

And so would she.

Before exiting the common room to join the remaining Resistance, Rey paused briefly at the doorframe, giving a final glance over her shoulder at the fireplace. The flames had dwindled to mere flickers of sparks, breathing underneath the remaining wood.

The Resistance is the spark that will light the fire to burn the down the First Order.

She hoped in heart she would be the spark that brings back Ben Solo.

And with that, she joined her friends.

[the end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"First comes the day_
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> _Then comes the night._
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> _After the darkness_
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> _Shines through the light._
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> _The difference, they say,_
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> _Is only made right_
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> _By the resolving of gray_
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> _Through refined Jedi sight."_
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> \- Journal of the Whills, 7:477
> 
> This was my first ever Star Wars fic I've written and I'd like to think they're improving as I write more in the fandom. Please let me know what you think!


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